There’s A Festival In Japan That Celebrates Giant Phalluses And It’s Amazing

In case you haven’t heard yet, there have been thousands upon thousands of people have been cascading through the streets of Japan holding (and I swear I am not making this up) giant penises. Yep… that’s right. Giant. Penises.

Don’t 100% believe me? Well, see for yourself by watching the video below!

See what I mean? I know I know, it’s pretty wild. But, what is it all about exactly?

Well, the festival, which is also known as the Honen-sai festival is an annual event which sees crowds of both residents and tourists line the streets to watch on as the procession of larger than life phalluses… aka penis’ pass by. Aaaaand that’s pretty much it.

As funny as all this sounds, however –  this is absolutely no joke and is actually taken pretty seriously. So much so that before the celebration even begins, priests scatter salt along the road to purify the route for the procession of penises.

It happens every March annually, and people will gather in the Aichi Prefecture and then make their own way to Lomaki, which is north of Nagoya, in order to take part in one of the most bizarre celebrations I have ever heard of, the focal point of which is… obviously… a whopping 400kg penis carved out of Japanese cypress. This is then carried down the streets of the town by men who are described as being of an ‘unlucky age’.

This heavy piece of kit is also no joke. It boasts of an (enviable) 100cm circumference and is offered up to a shrine so prayers can then be made to ask for a good harvest and fertility for these men.

When it was first carved, this “willy” was much, much smaller and was also attached to a samurai statue – however over the years it has grown larger, and larger… and larger and today it now stands at an incredibly impressive  (not to mention, and incredibly intimidating) 2.5 meters.

However, to add to the festivals craziness, the ginormous appendage is actually placed in different shrines depending on whether the year is an even number or an odd one. So, during the years that have even numbers, it will be carried from the Shinmei Sha shrine which is on top of a large hill and during a year which is odd-numbered the procession will start from Kumano-sha Shrine onto another shrine called Tagata Jinja – which allegedly dates back to over 1,500 years… AMAZING.

To make things even better, if you’re one of the curious visitors who get to see this spectacle you’ll be able to pay your own respects by giving it a cheeky peck on the tip.

The festival itself reportedly began way back in 1977 but could actually date as far back as far as the 17th Century! And its roots have a totally grim (but fascinating) tale of a sharp-toothed demon who apparently once fell in love with a beautiful woman.

However, like most demons out there I’m sure, this particular demon does not take rejection too well at all so it robs all her lovers of their ‘old man’ (aka, their penis’) in a series of truly gruesome ways.

It’s only when a  clever blacksmith goes ahead and forges a steel penis that then breaks the demon’s teeth, that he is finally defeated.

…and I think I just found my new favorite fairytale of all time.

But alas, it’s not all rubbing down giant wooden ‘willies’ and fighting off sharp-teeth demons! While the visitors who are attending this festival are enjoying the parade they can also treat themselves to a live music show from a band of Shinto priests, drink as much sake as they can possibly handle (which, for me, is not much at all) or even sink their teeth into some chocolate dipped bananas, uncircumcised hotdogs and a plethora of other penis-related treats. Now, does that sound like a dream come true or what!?

And that’s not all! They can even pick up some glorious mementos from such a strange day (who wouldn’t want to remember it forever, let’s be honest), with wood carvings being among the most popular goodies bought by tourists and locals. However, if that isn’t really your kind of thing, there’s is also a wide variety of phallic shaped fruits and veg on offer as well. So, it others words, it truly is a festival that caters for all!

So what are you waiting for? Get your tickets booked immediately for next year, and I’ll see you there!

What do you think folks, have you ever heard of such a thing before? I hadn’t – but I’m SO glad to know that it exists now. Maybe you’ve actually been to this festival? Let me know your opinions in the comments and don’t forget to share this with your friends and family too… you never know who may be interested in attending next year! x

 

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