I’m one of the fastest man alive

A Nigerian man has tagged himself as one of the fastest men alive, after he ran at a world record speed during a ‘dog chase.’

The thing though is, the dogs didn’t actually chase him, he was the one running from them.

Twitter user, @IamEtubo, took to the social media to narrate how he ran (or vanished) at the site of 8 huge dogs in Everett, Washington.

According to him, he went to work at a clients place, only to be greeted by the presence of 8 huge dogs. Due to his fear for dogs, he didn’t wait to see if they were friendly or not.

Read the full story below;

So… I worked for a lady when I lived in Everett, Washington and this day was like one of the funniest days of my life.

I like to form hard guy but I fear dogs, especially big ones fam! I won’t even come close. If you invite me over and you have dogs. It’s either we stay outside or your dog goan play outside. That house can not contain us together…

I have worked for this woman for about 3 months. I helped her plant flowers, lawn, and all the “make your compound beautiful” sereren.

One afternoon, there was nothing to do sha, so she said “ let’s go to my other house and get some work done” so I said OKAY.

We sha got there. I looked around. I asked her “is this your house?” She said “oh yea, this is where live”.

I asked again “so what are we doing here?” She responded “the same thing we go, we make it look beautiful”

I’m like “Yaaaay!”

Unfortunately, this woman didn’t know my story with dogs. So we walked to the front door. I started hearing dogs bark. The sounds sounded like they were barking from afar. So I thought maybe the sound was coming from the neighbors house or I’m hearing nonsense.

I wanted to ask her but that atom of hard guy in me said “oga free her jor, she no get dog. Why she go get dog!”

Bruhhh! She opened the door and I’m not even kidding I just saw about 8 dogs at the hallway. She had 4 American Bulldogs, 3 Rottweiler and one 1 German Shepherd. 🤦🏾‍♂️

Excuse me, if you don’t know about dogs you need to go and ask how big these dogs are. They were fully grown. I first thought my eyes were deceiving me till they saw me and started barking aggressively and running towards us…..

I wasn’t even sure if…..

The dogs were just mad because they have never seen me before o abi they were just happy to see their mom. I couldn’t even tell if these dogs were happy or angry with the way they were looking at me barking and some putting their tongue out like ode.

Bro! Who was I to find out?

All I can say is that I have never run that fast all my life. Even as I am typing, I’m getting flashbacks of how fast I ran. I was so fast even the woman didn’t realize I was gone. I jumped the yard gates hands free bro. It was that bad.

In case you don’t know, I’m one of the fastest man alive. If you think I’m lying just put me a track with Usain Bolt and put big angry dogs behind me. Bolt wouldn’t stand a chance. I’m sure I can fly if them dey vex wella.

I sha ran for a little bit and stopped. So as madam wanted to clear the dogs so she could make way for me to go into the house Na him she know say na breeze dey her back. She stepped into the streets worried and I could see her. I started waving my hands so she could see me.

So she called my phone and said “what are you doing up there come down here” I said “no & I need to talk to u” next thing she said “okay let me get the dogs maybe they could use a walk” bring the dogs? It’s over sabi that will kill this woman. She is bringing the whole zoo to me

I told her she needed to come over here and no dogs. Finally she did, she was like “what happened, I just noticed you were gone” I asked “Rainee, how many dogs do you have and why didn’t you tell me you had dogs” mama said “oh you are scared of my babies?” Which babies?!

She’s like “they are just 8, I call them the lucky 8” she sha mentioned their names. What is wrong with this woman? What’s my business with names? The woman started laughing at me.. come on, they don’t bite. I said that’s their personal problem… I’m not going o.

I told her “if you want me to come to your house, you better goan lock them somewhere or you all can go for a walk, I can’t be in your house with your dogs, the house won’t contain us all. Someone will die o. Let’s be guided please”

Long story short. She took them to her neighbors I turned to her and said “how could you do that to me. You should have told me. I could have died. This is so unfair”. It pained me fam. I trusted her. She said “come on, you are now being dramatic”

Finally, she gave me money for being traumatized lol. But why will someone have 8 dogs? You said you are not selling and they are family. Ki lo f’oshi?!

So… I worked for a lady when I lived in Everett, Washington and this day was like one of the funniest days of my life.

THREAD!….

— Legendary Soul (@IamEtubo) March 16, 2019

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