25 Hilarious Products Sexist Companies Think Women Can’t Handle
There’s so much to freakin’ love about womanhood but it has its downsides…
For example, we’ll never be able to use these high-tech manly objects. Far too complicated for our simple, womanly brains.
Thank god these products have come with helpful indicators as to whether or not they’re suitable for feeble, foolish females!
1. This manly toothpaste
How will our delicate lady teeth manage with this?! Why oh why can we not recover from those peppermint punches as men can? Guess we’re doomed to cavities…
2. Toenail Clippers or, as we should call them, Toemale Clippers
They’re ultra sharp, ladies! They could practically cut through our weak womanly bones!
3. This frying pan that requires high levels of testosterone to operate
“Good fire. Good beer. Good tools.”
Wow, I wonder what fire and beer are like?? You know, those things only boys have access to?
4. Ribs
I had a friend who ate ribs once. I tried to warn her of their deadly manly powers but she wouldn’t listen. Now she’s dead.
5. Coat hangers, regular ones are *shamefully* feminine
Good job it’s rust-resistant, as we all know men coats are lined with acid (very manly) and burn through regular hangers.
Although we’re glad it’s getting “even the manliest of men” excited to hang up clothes! Women have been enjoying that all on their own for ages!
6. The good book
FINALLY A BIBLE JUST FOR BOYS!
Girls aren’t interested in the “interesting and humorous Bible facts” that boys are. Most of us don’t even learn to read, too busy tying ribbons in our hair.
7. Anything in a pint glass. We just can’t do it. Our arms are too weak.
Guess we’ll just have to stick to sipping our tea and giggling hey…
8. Fabric softener for our sports gear because, obviously, we don’t play sports
We might break a nail!
9. To be honest we don’t even want to know why we can’t use these…
They claim to be gentle but they’re for “dudes”? We don’t understand?? We’d probably get bruises just from looking at them.
10. TEA. MAN. TEA. *beats chest like King Kong*
Legend has it that some women go blind from the sheer manliness of this stuff.
11. POWERFUL YOGURT
The last woman to eat this did find her inner abs but she wasn’t such a fan of the POWERFUL beard.
12. Every single pen in existence except these ones which were kindly made on our behalf
It’s wonderful really, up until this point we were having to find ridiculous alternatives. J.K Rowling had to scratch the Harry Potter books onto a cave wall with a stone.
13. SKULL SCREWS (only sissies call them ear plugs)
God, I wish we could twist these bad boys into our ears. Especially when *certain people* are talking…
14. This dip… is… is it made of men or??
It’s gluten free and woman free. A winning combo.
15. SENSATIONS.
We refer both to this product and emotions in general. Not allowed. Dream on doll.
16. ALL SELLOTAPE EXCEPT THIS ONE
It’s a nightmare when wrapping Christmas presents. Where is that one sellotape in the world that I can use?!
17. Any energy drink that doesn’t give us “beautiful energy”
You can be energetic, just make sure you’re pretty.
Pause for a break. Breathe in the anger… Breathe it out… Okay? Let’s continue…
18. “Mansize” tissues
We could use these as a fitted sheet for our little lady beds but we’d probably asphyxiate if we put them anywhere near our faces.
19. Beer, unless it’s specially made for us
This beer is lovingly crafted with unicorn tears, fairy laughter, and the color pink. It’s *boutique* just don’t try drinking it from a pint glass. We know that will end badly.
A cautionary tale.
20. Losing hair? Female? Enjoy your bald life. No solutions are available for you.
We’re being a little unfair here… this company does sell this product for women. The exact same product. Just in a purple box, you know, so it matches our handbag?
21. Strong, wild and free soap
Honestly, I don’t know that I need my soap to be strong, wild or free. But the option would be nice. *sighs whimsically*
22. Laxatives from a box that isn’t pink
A delicate solution to a delicate matter. Finally.
23. Cookbooks. THIS is the only one we have, it’s all we women will ever know of the culinary world
We don’t eat male food. It’s simply not fabulous enough.
24. Hammers that aren’t pink are another no go
I can’t imagine why we’d need to use tools but it might be handy for cracking eggs? When we’re making a cake for our husbands.
25. Wear generic suncream. Only the colour pink can prevent burns!
Angry? Unimpressed? Us too.
And whilst it’s infuriating for women it doesn’t seem much better for the guys! Why exclude anyone from products based on their gender?
Some men like pink. Some women can use pens.
What ridiculous men-only/women-only products have you seen? Let us know if you bought them!
We’re particularly excited to hear if any women managed to drink a pint!
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