21 Disgusting Vintage Recipes We DARE You To Try

Food has changed quite a lot since the good old days and looking at these recipes, it’s definitely changed for the better!

It seems that vintage food consisted of a whole lot of gelatin and some of the food combinations they came up with are nothing short of nightmare-inducing.

I wonder how people actually survived off these concoctions? They certainly don’t look edible to me. After looking at these, I feel a little bit queasy, although I’m tempted to try a few out, just because I seem to enjoy punishing myself… and my dinner guests…

Make some of these recipes for your friends and family this weekend, I DARE you!

1.) “Salad” apparently…

(Image Credit: LVeg / Via imgur.com)

Is that really supposed to be a salad? A frozen brick of cheese accompanied by some broccoli…YUM! This upsets me in so many ways, I really hope no one actually ever ate this. Is it supposed to be eaten frozen? Like some kind of cheesy broccoli ice-cream, excuse me while I throw up.

2.) Simple gelatinous supper takes only 4 hours to make…

(Image Credit: Via Flickr: the_justified_sinner)

If you have ever felt the need to encase what was a delicious dinner in some kind of gelatinous prison then now is your chance! This basically takes a Sunday dinner and turns it into some kind of mutated food that even my dog would turn his nose up at.

3.) Meringue farm animals that judge you with their red eyes

(Image Credit: Via Flickr: the_justified_sinner)

These meringue animals are not only screaming “help me” with their red eyes but also seem to be stuck in some kind of radioactive gelatin sea. What is with vintage recipes loving gelatin? Someone, please set these animals free, they look scared.

4.) Vegetable quiche presented in the least appetizing way

(Image Credit: Via Flickr: the_justified_sinner)

This is probably the saddest-looking quiche I have ever had the misfortune to lay eyes on. Why does EVERYTHING have to be encased in this weird gelatin mold? Those poor vegetables have definitely seen better days.

5.) “Good in so many ways”. Velveeta lies.

(Image Credit: Via Flickr: jbcurio)

Who layers slices of processed cheese on top of beef stew like that?! This is just wrong in so many ways and I refuse to believe people actually ate like that. Now I can understand why older people don’t understand the younger generation, they are jealous of our food!

6.) Mmm, fizzy 7-Up milk

(Image Credit: orbitn / Via imgur.com)

This is the strangest thing I think I have EVER seen in my life. Imagine drinking sweet, fizzy milk that has probably curdled? That must wreak havoc in your insides! I really hope kids didn’t actually drink this…

7.) Does anyone fancy some meaty fruit?

(Image Credit: danielweiresq / Via Flickr: 15134271@N03)

Ham and apples REALLY don’t sound like a match made in heaven, how is this even a recipe? This looks like the saddest meal ever and now I’m sad.

8.) Is that lettuce on fire?

(Image Credit: Elizabeth / Via Flickr: runder)

Let’s just ignore the drink recipe for a second. WHY is there lettuce on fire in the background with some sausages stuck in it like some kind of weird crown? This looks like some sacrificial witchcraft to me and I’m concerned.

9.) Everyone loves jelly salmon

(Image Credit: Ann Larie Valentine / Via Flickr: sanfranannie)

Wow, 300 hundred fish recipes?! If they are all like this large jelly salmon then I don’t think I’ll be buying that recipe book. Did people seriously eat and enjoy this food?!

10.) Wobbly stew loaf

(Image Credit: frauhoad / Via imgur.com)

You could make a normal stew but why not combine all of the different elements together instead and make a cold, jellied loaf? You honestly couldn’t pay me to eat this.

11.) It gets worse…

(Image Credit: danielweiresq / Via Flickr: 15134271@N03)

Prawns seriously did not deserve to die to be stuffed into APPLES. Since when have you ever had a craving for prawns and apples together? I bet the answer is never.

12.) Banana candles…why?

(Image Credit: justhungry.com)

These candles just look…rude. They definitely don’t look like anything you would ever want in your home, let alone eat. Who thinks of these recipes? Imagine one day waking up and being like, “I know what the world needs banana candles!”

13.) This dessert will rot your teeth

(Image Credit: Via Flickr: the_justified_sinner)

Imagine being served prune and marshmallows with ice cream and melted marshmallow sauce, your teeth would fall out just LOOKING at this!

14.) Ham surrounded by an unidentified gelatinous goo

(Image Credit: Via Flickr: the_justified_sinner)

This could be THE worst one yet. This ham is literally suspended in jelly surrounded by what looks like mushed-up cat food. Just imagine the texture.

15.) Celery LOG

(Image Credit: Via weightwatchers1974.tumblr.com)

Because plain old celery was far too boring on its own, it must be chilled and filled with mysterious things. At least there’s no gelatin in this one.

16.) A salad should NEVER be encased in jelly

(Image Credit: Via weightwatchers1974.tumblr.com)

Why do these vintage recipes keep ruining every single meal by mixing it into some kind of jelly mold?! I love how they have placed some lettuce on the outside, are these people seriously going to eat that monstrous jelly creation with some LETTUCE?!

17.) This is an insult to both Spain and Paella

(Image Credit: Via Flickr: the_justified_sinner)

Do NOT try and tell me that this is paella, this is just sad shrimp diving into rice and mysterious fish. Paella is delicious and this just looks sad and disgusting.

18.) Stuffed fish that doesn’t look funny AT ALL

(Image Credit: Via Twitter: @RobinPartridge)

Oh dear, this fish definitely doesn’t look appetizing and I feel really awkward just looking at it…would definitely not recommend this one.

19.) The stuff of nightmares

(Image Credit: Via weightwatchers1974.tumblr.com)

JELLIED TOMATO?! Surely I cannot be reading that right, it sounds awful. After a long at work on a hot day, what we all crave is just a refreshing glass of tomato jelly. Said no one, EVER.

20.) Spam and banana fritters – the perfect dinner for when you hate your family

(Image Credit: Hormel / Via vintageadbrowser.com)

People in the past definitely deserved spam but NOT bananas, they turn the fruit into horrendous things and it’s not okay. If you want to ruin someone’s day, make them this dish for dinner.

21.) Saving the best for last

(Image Credit: Via weightwatchers1974.tumblr.com)

Wow, a CROWN of frankfurters, I’ve never heard of them referred to as that before. If you have someone special in your life, this is definitely the way to impress them and win their heart.

All I can say is, I’m glad that I didn’t grow up in a time where the staple ingredient to every dish was gelatin. Would you ever try any of these? Let us know in the comments! AAx

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