22 Infuriating Struggles Women With Small Boobs Deal With Every. Freakin’. Day.

Well, last week I talked about the struggles of those fabulous women out there who are “lucky” enough to have been blessed with a chest. But wanting to be as inclusive as possible, I thought it’d only be fair for me to write about the struggles all my other superwomen out there who are “lucky” enough to be blessed with minimal chests go through on a daily basis too.

Because, let’s face it… there is definitely pros and cons to both. Yeah, we may not have much to work with when it when it comes to cleavage. However, when it comes to the freedom of going braless or wearing cute strappy tops, we are winning gold in that category.

So if you’re lacking in the chesticle department, this ones for you! So get your tissues out (you know, the ones you use to stuff your bra with) and prepare to laugh along with me!

1. Cleavage? What’s that?

Ah yes, cleavage, you’ve heard of such a wonder before, read about it in magazines, even seen some in real life… you, however, were never destined to know what it feels like to actually have cleavage. But hey, you can’t miss whatever you never had, right?

2. Going braless is NOT that easy

Big boobed women have NO IDEA what it takes to achieve this look. We still have to cover our nips and do some minor shaping otherwise it’ll look like we’re smuggling two tiny pitched tents under our shirts.

3. But hey, at least built-in bras exist!

These things, however, are a GODSEND. And luckily they provide just the right amount of support for us teeny chested beauties. Also, they are SUPER comfy. Win-win.

4. That awful phase we went through before puberty hit us and we felt the only way we would survive high school is if we “stuffed”.

Listen to me now; at some point, EVERYBODY stuffed. Like, I mean E V E R Y B O D Y. It was like a right of passage for young girls. Unfortunately, a lot of girls eventually reached the stage where they didn’t need to stuff anymore. You, however, did not.

5. You can never just buy a bikini. You have to buy a top in one size and a bottom in another.

Just because we have a flat chest, doesn’t mean we had a matching flat butt to go with it. We spend most of our time looking for bikini tops made for 12-year-olds and bikini bottoms made for 30-year-olds. It’s an absolute chore.

6. Padded bikini bras? Don’t make me laugh.

There is nothing, and I mean NOTHING more unnatural looking than padded bikini tops. Padded bras are one thing, but padded bikinis just do not work. May as well walk around the beach with tube socks stuffed down there.

7. The absolute horror of wearing these things:

I’m not sure who invented these things, but I can promise you it was not a woman. They look and feel like cold, raw chicken breasts and they stay “stuck” to you for about five minutes before gravity wins and they completely give up.

8. The moment you try a bra sized “nearly A” on and it fits you perfectly.

Well, it’s official. Guess I should just go ahead and live the rest of my life as a pre-pubescent boy.

 

9. The fear of disappointing your new “bedroom partner” once you remove the padded bra you’ve been sporting every time you see them.

Do you know why they call them Wonderbras ladies? It’s because when you take them off, you wonder where your freakin’ boobs have gone.

10. The nerve-wracking anguish of wearing a strapless top.

Id this going to fall down all day? Yep. Do I look like a cross dresser when I wear it? Yep. Are my shoulders way to broad to pull this off? Yep. Am I still going to wear it because it’s a super cute top? YEP.

11. A cute Bandeau, however? Sign. Me. UP.

Bandeaus are a whole different ball game. I LOVE me some bandeaus. Patterned, plain, lacey, frills… I want them ALL. Pair them under a cute muscle T and you have my absolute favorite look.

12. When you hear guys talking about how much they “love small boobs” but you just KNOW they’re talking about C-cups.

Hahahaha, oh men, you think you’ve seen small? You ain’t seen NOTHING yet. No wonder we have such darn boob-related complexes. A IS A SIZE TOO!

13. When EVERY A-cup bra comes with about 8 inches of padding even though not EVERY woman wants her chest pushed up underneath her freakin’ chin.

You know what lingerie-making companies, sometimes I’m totally okay with not having “cleavage”, sometimes I just want to give the girls a little support without them having to be pushed up to the high-heavens, thanks.

 

14. Accepting the fact that even if you find a top or dress that fits perfectly, there’s a 98% chance that it will still be baggy in the chesticle area.

This is exactly were all those stuffing-skills you learned in high school (and let’s be honest, college) come in SUPER handy.

 

15. Being genuinely concerned that if you have a baby it might starve to death because you’re not sure if your teeny-tiny boobs can hold enough milk for them.

Can I even MAKE milk? Will my baby STARVE? Do I have to hire a pair of big boobs to feed my baby? WHAT DO I DO? WHERE’S THE SCIENCE FOR THIS? Seriously scary.

16. On the other hand, you never have to worry about any sagging-related issues… hurray!

Yep, it’s true. Even after you have a baby you’ll never have to worry about tripping over your own boobs. So I guess that’s a win for us, right?

17. When everyone told you “They’ll grow as you get older!” but you’re now 18 and they stopped growing like 3 years ago.

You’re 36 and have 3 kids but you still can’t help yourself hoping every now and then that you’re just a “late bloomer”. Any day now guys, any day!

18. When everyone ALSO tells you “Hey don’t worry once you get pregnant they’ll be big for a bit.”

Oh good, so all I have to do is grow a human being inside me for 9 months and then eventually push it out of my body in order to get a few cup sizes up in the bra department? AMAZING. I am so ecstatic about this. Totally, totally worth it.

19. When women with large boobs keep telling you how “lucky” you are to not have to deal with constant back pain.

Back pain? BACK PAIN? DO YOU KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO TO EXPERIENCE BOOB-RELATED BACK PAIN? Just shut up and take a few pain killers Sandra, us small-chested ladies don’t need your patronizing comments.

20. But at least you can wear cute lacey bralets seeing as you literally need no support whatsoever.

Another pro: We get to wear suuuuper cute lacey bralets that look cute as heck without the worry of slipping or splitting. Another win for us! (Is anyone keeping track?)

21. But just think about all those other FIERCE women out there who are totally owning their small boobs!

Thaaaaat’s right, you aren’t the only one. In fact, the world is FILLED with fabulously fierce small chested superwoman who totally rock with their Nearly-A sized boobs, and YOU are one of them. You GO, GIRL!

22. At the end of the day, your small boobs are part of what makes you YOU, and honey, what you are is a ROCKSTAR!

Heck yes! It’s not what you got but what you do with it that counts, and girl you are working it every freakin’ day! So wear those teeny mounds on your chest with pride and remember to slay every day! YAAAAS QUEEEEN!

So ladies what do you think? Do you agree with me? Think I’ve left any pros and/or cons off the list? What is it you struggle with most? Let me know in the comments, and don’t forget to share this with all your other boob-lacking loved ones!

Title cover comic image credited to FLAT GIRL comics @ Tumblr

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