ASOS Under Fire For Pricey, Nearly-Nude “Cling Film” Pants And “Bubble Wrap” Dress

In the world of fashion one day you’re in and the next day you’re out…

But the day when you’re “out” CANNOT come quickly enough for these transparent pieces…

(Image Credit: ASOS)

I absolutely cannot imagine an occasion when these would be necessary or appropriate?! This garment treads an awe-inspiring line of a complete lack of functionality coupled with an eye-scaldingly poor aesthetic. Truly, astounding stuff.

(Image Credit: ASOS)

Oh hang on, I think I get the point of these trousers now… If (unlike this poor model) you happen to have a particularly fancy, frilly pair of knickers that you are unusually proud of these bad boys allow you to showcase them! Sure, you could just wander out in your panties and get locked up for indecent exposure, but where would be the fun in that? Where would the style be, in that?! If you’re going to get arrested for booty-baring you may as well look “on-trend” doing it.

One ASOS shopper made the particularly astute observation that farting in these trousers would cause them to fog up. And though that wasn’t our first thought… We see what they mean…

Still, the pants have pockets! Pockets that will make visible the keys, tampon and crusty lip balm you always carry with you, but still! Any woman knows, that makes these pantaloons worth their weight in gold.. although come to think of it, there’s not a whole lot of weight to these gossamer atrocities.

So how much will you be forking out for a pair of tracksuit trousers you could have created from a couple of sandwich bags and imagination?? A mere $64…

Sure, it’s not as ridiculous a price tag as some retailers charge for their completely useless, garbage garments but still. You’d be better off sticking wet toilet paper to your legs if you were really that desperate to get this transparent “look”.

But that wasn’t the only trendy treat ASOS had up their sleeve! How do we know this? Because their sleeves are freakin’ see-through, like every other item of clothing they’re trying to palm off to unsuspecting teens…

Brace yourself for the bubble-wrap dress.

(Image Credit: Twitter, @CheskaLou89)

I can see the appeal of this transparent hessian sack. Often times have been I wanted to parade my semi-clad body to the world, waiting at the bus stop just wasn’t spicy enough unless the general public could peruse my belly button, now finally ASOS has created the solution to my problem.

Okay, so maybe this would be cute to chuck on over a bikini at the beach (not that I’ve worn a bikini in freakin’ years!) for a bit of warmth later in the evening but this thing is comprised solely of sequins, fairy wings, and imagination. It’s not like a cheeky little slip that teases what’s underneath whilst keeping the wearer snuggly and warm. This a glorified bit of tissue paper with straps.

Still fancy donning this sparkly scrap of material? Well, I’ve got good news for you, it will only set you back $108…

Sick of not having an ever-present draft on your derriere? Who would have thought the answer to your problem would only cost triple figures… Wow. What a time to be alive.

(Image Credit: ASOS)

Am I being harsh? Is it just because this was clearly designed with a beach-goddess in mind and I feel left out? Or is it normal to feel this level of exasperation that people are conned out of their hard earned cash to look like they’ve been sprinkled in sugar while they strut around in next to nothing in public?? You tell me…

Are you getting online right now to see if they have any left in stock?? Make sure to tag the friends you can see rocking (or burning) these outfits! Let me know how much you’d have to be paid to wear either piece in the comments too! AAx

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