Fashion Officially Goes Too Far With £235 Bum Exposing Denim Panties

We’ve been patient through fashion’s less than flattering moments.

We’ve endured ripped jeans, the lowest of low necklines, the highest hitched trousers and the platform heels designed with the sole purpose of toppling the wearer.

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Whether high fashion or high street, it seems the clothing industry is willing and ready to make humanity look idiotic.

But we have to draw a line somewhere and I personally have reached my absolute limit.

There was only ever so much tolerance I had to expend on fashion trends and it has well and truly been reached with this latest fad.

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“Fashion” brand ‘Ssense‘, (a company seemingly committed to the world being as unaesthetic a place as possible) are now selling a pair of denim panties (which they insist can be worn as trousers) for a fun and quirky £235. 

(Image Credit: Ssense)

And to be fair, you can absolutely see how they justify that price tag!

All this time I’ve been freezing my nether regions for free when I could have been paying hundreds of pounds for the pleasure?!

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Where did it all go wrong, humanity? What terrible event affected our global psyche so badly that this item can be produced and sold within the realms of the law?

The company tempts us further (we can’t imagine why they feel the need to, we’re already completely sold on struggling into a denim garter belt for the rest of our lives) by promising the garment is 100% cotton.

100% cotton?!

Wow. Somehow I’ll still have to pass on wearing a pair because, honestly, unless these things were made with angel feathers and sewn together with Unicorn eyelashes I wouldn’t let them within a hundred yards of me and my family. Much less pay hundreds of pounds to wear them.

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Okay. Now I’ve got that off my chest I can maybe discuss this matter in a more productive, constructive way-,

(Image Credit: Ssense) 

Nope. I’m not done. The rage is real.

Even if I suffered a major case of amnesia and forgot everything I know about dressing myself I would somehow still retain the knowledge that this look is straight out of the seventh circle of hell.

Anyone with a sizeable rear (and I’ll include myself amongst them!) would have these things gobbled up to where the sun doesn’t shine within a matter of mere moments.

Step out the door and I’m essentially in a thong. But it’s fine because it’s fashion.

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No. It is indecent exposure and it’s time somebody told you as much. March back up those stairs young lady and find something to cover your butt.

We’re all for creative expression and fashion can be an amazing, beautiful representation of who we are.

But these denim panties just ain’t it. They’re a jumped-up bit of ugly lingerie, designed to fleece the wearer out of a couple of hundred quid to feel on trend and look like absolute… rubbish.

As a side note, if it costs this much for a glorified belt of denim, about, say, a twentieth of the length of regular shorts… how much are they charging for actual jeans? 

On the upside, it’s got belt hoops so they won’t fall down. You know, because it would be embarrassing to expose yourself…

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These things would be carried off by a strong breeze. They don’t deserve belt hoops.

I also have a feeling that those pockets are fake/sewn up. Which is a real shame, because you could have stored a huge amount of stuff within the upper eight inches of your buttock. Dammit. They were almost the perfect item.

We’ll just have to dream on I guess…

Is there a special someone you’d gift these to?? Or will you be rushing to go out and buy a pair for yourself? We’re sure our glowing review convinced you to take that leap of faith… AAx

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