20 Babies Who Are Total Jerks And Ruined Their Own Photoshoots

Babies; they’re teeny, tiny, adorable little bags of cuteness and, for some reason, most people are obsessed with them.

But do you want to know something else about babies? Babies are absolute jerks. There, I said it, they’re jerks!

They cry a lot, poop a lot, pee themselves all the time and throw up EVERYWHERE, especially when you’re in the middle of doing something important. It’s like they have some sort of radar or something. “Ohh Mom looks like she’s having a serious conversation with this very serious looking lady, now’s a great time for me to throw up all over her nice shirt.”

Babies do, however, provide us with a lot of entertainment… especially when moments like these are caught on camera. And when’s the best moment to catch this stuff on camera? During a photoshoot, of course!

1. When it’s time to go, it’s time to GO.

Look at this little guy, he has absolutely no idea what is going on. All he knows is that he’s nice and cosy in the protective arms of his two loving parents, and he’s naked. Oh and he also really really needs to pee. So what does he do? Well, he PEE’S, obviously.

2. What you don’t see can’t upset you.

This is like that photos people accidentally take moments before disaster strikes. You can almost see in slow motion how this scene unfolded mere seconds after this picture was taken. It’s like a car crash I can just not look away from for the life of me.

3. MY BAD, Dad.

Look at this beautiful, wholesome, picturesque family photoshoot out in nature. So idyllic, so perfect. It would be such a shame if some little jerk came along and vomited right in the middle of it- Oh, wait, nevermind. Nice going baby. At least the Mom got a few laughs out of it.

4. Who’s Fault Is This?

I’m not entirely sure if I can actually blame this ruined picture on the baby? I can’t see any poop or pee, so it can’t be that. The Mom could possibly be sneezing? Or just ripped a really big one. Maybe the baby is like super strong and is trying to choke her with her own necklace? I guess we’ll just never know.

5. Big Sister Problems

It’s fun to be an older sibling sometimes. I, myself, am an older sister, and 80% of the time I enjoy it very much. I tell you one thing though, if my little sister had thrown up on my back during a cute sissy photoshoot when we were younger, I have become an only child again very, very quickly. No THANK U.

6. The absolute WORST.

I honestly cannot even look at this image while I’m typing about it. Image it, nice little family day on the beach, cute little moment between you and your child, carrying them up on your shoulders, thinking to yourself “I should log this memory away, this will be so precious to me one day” and then you just feel a gloopy substance sliding down your back.

My kid would be going right in the ocean I’ll tell you that for free.

7. Keepin’ it cool.

Look at this fine specimen of a man, who is 100% a cool Dad. A cool Dad who wants to take a lovely, forever-treasured professional picture with his newborn, so sweet! Too bad his son had other ideas in mind… hopefully it wasn’t anything to do with how he felt about his Dad’s fashion choices. Rude.

8. A different kind of baptism…

Finally, a baby gets a taste of its own medicine. Yeah how does it feel now you little jerk? How do you like getting peed on? Not so funny no the tables are turned is it? That’s what I thought. Got to hand it to the photographer though, this is actually one great photo.

9. One proud Papa

Can’t help but think that this image perfectly describes exactly what it’s like in an average, every-day household. The baby is causing mayhem/doing something super gross, the Mom is freaking out and trying to work out how he can keep the madness from happening, whereas the Dad is just stood on the sildeline watching and laughing and the chaos unfolds.

10.  No regrets.

Now just LOOK at this little jerk. He knows what he’s done. He is very aware he’s just gone the bathroom all over his Dad. Does he look regretful? No. Does he look guilty? No. He looks absolutely made up with himself. Surprised he’s not attempting to give himself a pat on the back. The audacity.

11. A picture paints a thousand words.

Okay so you may not be able to actually see the offending crime in this photograph but you could probably take a good guess at what it is. My guesses are either A) the baby has just let loose a silent killer or B) it’s just peed all over his Dads hand and arms and the Mom is trying to keep the mess out of the photograph as best she can.

12. Action Shot.

Honestly I’d keep this photograph purely so I had the look on this Dads face the minute he realizes what has just happend on file for all eternity. Absolute gold. WHY do people INSIST on having their babies NAKED for these things!?

13. Look A little closer…

I can’t tell if this Dad is smiling because he’s really feeling the love in this adorable picture or if he’s smiling because he knows exactly what just happened and he is just trying to keep his cool and make it out alive.

14. Why did I wear white?

This Dad is currently wishing he had planned ahead. Really though, are you new? You had absolutely no business wearing a white shirt to a photoshoot with your new born who you KNEW you’d have to hold in its birthday suit at some point. Feel like you kinda deserve this in all honesty, Dad.

15. So much regret.

This little jerk couldn’t have just waited 5 more minutes, could he? Oh no, had to poop right there and then. I mean, look at that first image! Pretty perfect right? Obviously not for Mr. I-can’t-even-hold-my-own-head-up-yet. Honestly I don’t think I could ever get through one of these things. I would 100% drop my baby.

16. Laugh through the pain.

Like with most things in life, if you don’t laugh at a certain bad situation, you’ll probably end up bawling your freakin’ eyes out. Can I just say that I have ABSOLUTELY no idea WHY this Mom is trying to actually catch whatever is coming out of the back end of her baby. If that was me, your carpet would be getting stained. Sorry not sorry.

17. Wait… what?

This photo set is so amazing that half of me thinks it was entirely planned to go this way. The Dads reaction frame by frame KILLS ME. I’d much rather keep this than those “perfect” shots couple strive so hard to get. Imagine your aunty Susan walking into your living room and seeing on the mantle? She would probably keel over.

18. Stay… very… very… still…

This Dad has absolutely no idea what he is in for. He is in a very bad situation. If he stands up, down slips the poop, if he continues to just lie there… well, he’s laying down covered in poop. What’s a man to do!? That baby doesn’t care though, look at him… he knows he isn’t the one who is gonna have to deal with this mess. JERK.

19. URRRGGHHHASIUDHWHQS.

I’m sorry, I can’t. I really, really can’t with this one.

I’ll be right back. Once I’ve finished gagging, I’m gonna go and make sure that my birth control is all up to date.

URRRRGH.

20. Cute little monster.

You know, I actually really like this one. The baby is a little cutie, and, yes, okay, he’s peeing all over the place, but it kind of gives the photograph a cool effect. Also look at those eyes! Okay baby, you win this round… photograph approved.

See what I mean now? Babies = total jerks. Maybe just do the smart thing and wait until they’re old enough to control their own bowel moments. Or, y’know, the even smarter thing and KEEP THEM IN THEIR FREAKIN’ DIAPERS. If you’ve had any similar experiences to these poor parents let me know in the comments so that we may all laugh (or cry) along with you! And don’t forget to share this with all your family and friends x

 

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