30 Dirty Jokes About Love And Marriage That Are Kind Of Offensive (But Also Hilarious)





1. What’s the difference between a wife and a job?
After 10 years, a job still sucks.

2. What do wives and hurricanes have in common?
On arrival, they’re wet and wild. When they leave, they take the house and car with them.

3. What’s the secret to a happy marriage?
Find a woman who can cook and clean. A woman who’s an animal in bed. A woman with lots of money. Make sure these three women never meet.

4. What’s the difference between a prostitute and a wife?
A wife accepts credit cards.

5. What’s the best way to love thy neighbor?
When her husband’s away on business.

6. How is a wife like bacon?
They both look, smell, and taste amazing. They also both slowly kill you.

7. What’s the difference between “incomplete” and “finished”?
A man without a wife feels incomplete. Once married, he’s finished.

8 Dude: My wife left me for my best friend.
Dude’s buddy: I thought I was your best friend.
Dude: Now he is, obviously.

9. What’s the difference between men and women?
Women can fake orgasms, but men can fake their entire marriage.

10. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry her.

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